What in the hell...
Where did we get it wrong? Parents? Church? Friends? Television?
Well it can't possibly be television - every tv show tells you to take the plunge into a relationship thinking only of immediate returns.
The only thing i respect in a person is their ability to think for themselves. This doesn't always mean going against the grain. Just that, you shouldn't be afraid to evaluate things for yourself. I'm don't mean to sound angry, but i am irritated.
For instance, there's this misconception that seems to prevail in church circles exclusively - It is best to go out in a group, when you want to get to know a girl/guy/bisexual poodle better.
Lets stop and evaluate shall we? First of all, in a group, a person behaves totally differently (i know i do, meet me one on one and you'd be surprised how much more rude i am). Secondly, there are a million and one other voices screaming for attention. Forget holding the candle, you'd need a blow-torch to get any meaningful conversation going.
ALL relationships, with people that i consider close friends, have been built on one-on-one time - either on the phone or out for a drink or late in the night on a mozzie infested garden. I wager my best friend's left testicle (the other is undescended) it's the same for you, if you think hard enough*. Sure you get to know how they act in a group. But i think it's more important to know what they are like, when alone.
Then there's the whole fear of hurting someone and getting hurt yourself plus the ensuing awkwardness when you meet... makes it sound bloodier than
'Tony Jah's Ong Bak 2 - The Blood Lust Continues'.
Look, life is about geting hurt. No escaping that. The faster you try to run, the harder it'll slam into you at the next corner.
A colleague recently said, you never learn unless it hurts. Sad but thankfully true. Learning from a hurt is the fastest, most effective way to grow up. I'm not saying lets all get knives and cut ourselves, but don't be afraid to take the risk. Dip a toe pinkie - in the very least - to see if the water is as icy as it looks.
I can't promise you things will turn out great. But i'm not going to play you, or hurt you or ditch you. So please, lets evaluate shall we?
*sorry des, i love you and i love making you mad. Beers are on me.
