Wednesday, June 14, 2006
The lump of soft flesh beneath my eye has been pulsating all day. I don't recall any muscles there, so what's with the weird twitching? It's irritating me slightly. Damn i wish things were different.
One of my favourite... goddamned editor (notice the small 'g') called me off for something frivolous and now i've lost my train of thought...
oh wait... i got it now.
Okay, the best Christian themed show i've ever watched was this one cartoon, about Joseph in Egypt. There's a song there, that he sings in prison. The lyrics go something like:
"Youuuuuuuuu knowwwwww better than I...."
"I've lost the need to know whyyyyyyy........"
"I'll take whatever answers you provide.........."
"Cos you know better than I......."
He was frustrated at first, cos God takes and takes and never gives back. Not only is he taken from his family, but just as soon as he makes good in Potiphar's house, his salacious wife gets him thrown in prison. So you can appreciate that the only abbreviations floating in his mind, alternated between P.U.S.H (Pray until something happens) and WTF.
But like I said, "at first".
He soon begins to realise that God is his only refuge, the only One that can help him make sense of all the madness and injustice. That, or he could just give up and turn bitter. Hmm... doesn't take a smart man to know option 1 holds more prospect.
But the quickness of your grey cells has nothing to do with character. You can make the smart choice, but do u have what it takes to live it out? I'm sure at first Joseph felt maybe, a little comforted - the four walls of his cell were less intimidating. But over time, you wonder, if God still remembers you? If He's still up there, and if He will release you into happiness and freedom soon.
Oh how your heart seems like it could break. Where is He? Why is He silent? Maybe its me... did i mess up somewhere? Go ahead Lord, judge me now and put me out of this misery.
God doesn't forget us. God may be slow to our timing, and He may be silent to our ears. But one thing i know, God knows all about heartbreak, and He cries with me everytime a wound bleeds. He knows my emotions, and He is not detached from my frivolous concerns about life.
So yeah... for that twitching eye... WTF, P.U.S.H baby.... P.U.S.H.
p.s. ask me to sing the song for you, please... i'll do a perfect rendition, totally in-key and on-time.
11:04 AM<3