Can you hurt God? Take a knife at Him and stab at His heart over and over again? After exhausting yourself, you realise He won't try fighting back at all. He just lays there and bleeds all over Himself. His doesn't say anything, but His eyes are deep with emotion. So deep i dare not look, because they will remind me of what i am and then i'll want to turn the knife on myself. He cares so much and He wants me so much and He doens't stop wanting me at all - not for one moment.
Who is this God? Why does He choose to be this way? Why am i receiving love like this? I want to know. Why does He choose to save me and not others? Why does He offer me a way out, to wholeness and life abundantly when there are others who are hurting even more? Who need Him even more than i do? Won't they screw themselves up even more?
I hate the way He is sometimes. So yes, i'm disappointed with You. For saving me and not other people who are so crazy and so lost. What happens to them Lord? Will You not offer them a way out? I don't understand You at all. Hit me back please, and hit me hard. Unlock the tears i'm crying in my heart. Make me double over and cry without ceasing. I want to love others like You do. Teach me. You're just so ridiculous.
