Was i overly clinical? I decided this year, since Christmas cheer was a secondhand emotion derived from those who actually look forward to the season rather than fond longings of my own, i'd swallow some steel wool in place of the fuzzy warmness one gets from singing Feliz Navidad at the top of their lungs.
I know it's not really about snow and brightly lit trees or even the presents, but a time to love and appreciate people. Oh... and to evangelise too, as far as church musicals go. But still, i couldn't muster the delight and cherubic grins people usually display at this time of year. Maybe some blusher would have helped.
After that was New Year's. The countdown in church was, surprisingly, really good. Year after year we do the same thing - worship (special mention to Huey who did a good job), wholesome testimonies, and then the counting backwards thing. This year we hugged each other as we counted, can't remember if we did that last year, but it was ticklish so i chuckled... only a little... by force. But i got bored way before that and went to throw little children against mattresses - i was careful so as not to whiplash their scrawny necks =)
Anyways, it was good because everyone looked so happy wishing God's providence on each other (Christians aren't allowed to say good luck cos that sort of thing doesn't exist). There were a lot of hugs going around and i stayed in the sound room till the initial euphoria died down a little before venturing out to wish my friends.
Am i so down about the celebrations because i'm feeling the new year is merely a change of date? I can't remember feeling this apathetic before. I know in my head things have changed for me, and i'm not entering 2007 the same man i was in 2006. But still, i'm unexcited. My blood isn't coursing through my veins with purpose, it's just doing a job.
Just three things on my new year wish list.
I hope God's magic finger touches me, and i return to vigour as soon as possible.
I hope the consequences of the year before dies with it. Good riddance to bad rubbish.
I hope i discover who i was made to be.
