Anger Management
Previous blog entries of mine were somewhat peppery. Liberal usage of swear words, though therapeutic, were uncalled for and personal savageries are certainly not gentlemanly. But anger management is not what i need. What I need are role models.
I'm starving for those actually. I think it's especially true if you don't have a strong father figure. Mine's a bit of a limp dick i'm ashamed to say. I was bestowed the opportunity to watch him in action the other day, giving his all to play the concerned father for the benefit of a middle aged lady friend over dinner. Felt like saying, "Come on dad, if you want to fuck her, fuck her." Be a man and ask her straight up if that's what she wants. Why stoop so low as to feign gentlemanly behaviour, dishing her food, asking about her health or my fuckin' career? Is that the stock from which i came? I am devastated. He's a pathetic example of a dad, and even in a pen of overweight pigs on heat, he'd still be the least seductive porker.
Needless to say, i'll pass on that fine specimen. Luckily my auxiliary avenues show more promise. There's church, with at least 2 or 3 guys whom God chose to bless with all of the required two testicles for malehood. The rest seem to opt for hermaphrodite hell either by sporting moobs (man-boobs), wearing pastels or placing themselves under doors as mats. Maybe they too lacked proper father figures to show them the way. Oh well... to each his own.
Outside of that circle are my carnal, licentious and hedonistic buddies. These guys, i have quite a bit of respect for. Apart from their fairly common binge drinking habit, they are the sweetest, most responsible and level headed individuals i know. They let loose when its time to party, they bleed with its time to work, and they listen when their girlfriends are unwinding after a long, tough day at work. How schweeet!!! But that's surface behaviour lah. I wouldn't vouch for them just yet. Appearances count for peanuts really.
So i'm still searching for the definitive alpha male. The one i want to emulate, the one whose legacy of righteousness and honour i want to continue, the one who gets up in the morning and sees nothing but new possibilities. The one who loves life and looks forward to all its battles.
I wonder, is there such a man?
