I've A Rant To Get Off My Chest.
- let's dive into the fun =) hee hee...
Disclaimer* - I wrote this a looong time ago. And i've been warned that it shouldn't be put on my blog. But pompous as always, i think it's a rather inspired piece of writing. I DO NOT sincerely hate anyone, but i do get irritated easily and end up saying things i might or might not mean - but that depends on who's asking anyway. Don't take it too seriously okay folks?
I have a deep and deliberate hatred for my mother's posse at church simply because they're all fat and ugly. Haha.. no no... i'm kidding. Some are only stupid. Here's the real reason i'm so mad after an angry conversation with my mother - Pastor Raj is a lightweight.
And i pity him for it. Why can't he be like former Pastor Nick Woo? A shouter from the pulpit, full of fiery tongues and fists of determination? Why can't he preach like the old-school heroes, on the prophetic and the end times? Why can't he master the art of rambling so that people think he's just bad at telling jokes? And why for the sake of all that is sanctified and angelic doesn't he wear a suit on Sunday?
Oh Raj, you tear my tender heart in two. I know seminary is doing you good, even though it doesn't always translate into a substantial Sunday message (according to those rabid salt eaters who've apparently given up rice). But you're the most relational pastor i've ever met. I love you for that. You keep it really Real =)
HOWEVER. Dude, what's with the lack of emphasis on issues pertaining to mother Israel's holy struggle? I mean great chips and sauce; but i want my meat and potatoes too, so buck up on the sermons man. Where are my 5 P's and 7 S's all punctuated by real life sob stories? And you have to back each one up with several bible references that take the congregation a good 5 minutes to find after you've moved on to the next point. Dude... come on, i hate telling you how to do your job but it's my duty as a prayer warrior (and i Rrrrock the corrugated gates of hell baby) to keep things in line man.
And Raj, i hate to question your motives but i hear murmurs coming from some very specific corners in church man. They sound a bit like Hotel California when you play the reel backwards, except they're all female though just as husky. So i'm gonna level with your alright? ooo-kay? you ready for the blow mr. stick-to-my-principles-cos-i-think-this-is-where-God's-leading-the-church? You ready to take it like a man? (and a good role model i might add.. hee hee) You wanna be up there talking down to people you gotta be ready to take the heat okayyy??? So here it is man...
Why don't you wish people good morning when they greet you? Who do you think you are man? I'm sorry but I think the minimum is one doctorate before you're allowed to walk around with your nose in the air like that. So please come off your high horse, pull up your socks, and get on with the job. We're all here to support you. Let's go back into the word lah Raj? Can or not? Let's go deep, okay? Let's get on with building a mighty church shall we?
In Jesus name i pray... Amen. Oh... and save Isreal o' merciful and benevolent Father, from those uncircumcised Philistine Bastard-Cocksuckers... Amen Again.
*I just felt a little more than expressive after this morning's conversation with my mom. It's what pissed me off so much. AND she's serious about Raj not wishing people good morning. Holy hell... she and her posse of post middle-aged freaks need so much love and patience - as well as a strong course of hormone replacement therapy.
Among the more petty accusations i've heard is why didn't Raj go to church camp this year? The "family" needed him. Why did he pick this momentous occasion to disappear? And why are the young people so apathetic when it comes to Friday night service? And are we under threat of becoming more Anglican, now that he's supposedly studying under that umbrella?
I think it boils down to the fact CLGC is a place the aunties and uncles no longer recognize. The older folks who grew up (haha... notice i didn't say mature) on ex-pastor Nick's style are feeling displaced. And, they're clutching very hard to the last vestiges of a church that used to feel like their second home.
The church is in the hands of the young people now. We really are the new generation and we've certainly arrived. Personally, this is the first time CLGC is being moulded by radical thoughts, words and actions that belong to you and me - not the man behind the pulpit. Consider the discussions about removing the stage that've been bouncing back and forth between the worship team members - those are our collective thoughts and that decision is ours to make. And they exclude the wishes of the older folk. So what are we to do?
Patience, love and understanding on both parts. How do we get there? For starters Raj can say 'morning' to my mom ;-) and for the rest of us, i guess we have to judge for ourselves. Maybe i need to spend more time talking instead of cussing WITH my mom (yeah, she yells cheebai when's she mad too, though not as passionately as before). That'll be hard. Really hard. Really hard like i'd-rather-be-shovelling-crap hard. She's gonna have to co-operate and not slap me over the head for talking about it here.. haha..
Those lovable old crazies need to be remembered; and if we feel unanimously led by the Spirit, loved as well!!! Haha.. Just kidding. Just something to think about i suppose. Cos we dont want to alienate them. I mean it's malicious fun, but against our religious beliefs unfortunately. I may just be talking crap. I'm seriously full of myself and extremely self righteous. If anything, i hope you found it entertaining.
