Because Life Is What It Is
I grew up being a mama's boy, in the sense that i felt it was my responsibility to protect her from my dad. I still remember the fear that crept into my bed late every night when he'd come home drunk and raging for a showdown. I'd lie tense as a poised bow, ready to spring up if i heard his footsteps thumping heavily on the floor as he went for her. Don't get me wrong, it was nothing terribly serious - my dad never actually hit my mom hard enough for it to show and he probably never will. But it was throughly harrowing nonetheless.
I lived through that as a teenager. And so did Chloe. I wonder how she dealt with it. I was fucking stressed of course. And now Ebony has to experience that same shit. So yesterday i passed on some words of expereince and told her that it's not her responsiblity to come in between those two. She doesn't need to protect my mom. No one needs to protect her. Not any more.
After growing up somewhat, i've come to the very angry conclusion that both her and my dad can go fuck themselves. Would be utterly disgraceful and appalling if i admitted i don't think my mom deserves protecting? That i feel if dad punched her to a shitbag, i'd be upset but would worry more if i didn't get my fingers calloused enough for my guitar riffs?
And it hurts. It bloody hurts because i know i love her but God help me because my mom is a stupid bitch. I'm not saying it any other way. My mom is a stupid fucking bitch. A grand old stupid fucking bitch who sates her hollow shell with chasing after religious fads. If it isn't fucking IPN, it's that Jewish cock and bull or some national prayer fucking network. And if i tell her that she should cook something for Ebony cos she's hungry, she retorts saying we can't demand for shit when we feel like it. "You think what? my kitchen open any time you want ah?" - Verbatim.
What the fuck?! Your guess is as good as mine.
